Saturday, June 24, 2006

"Men" and "Boys"

I feel most worthwhile when I’m at work. It seems to be my reason for being at the moment. I’m afraid that I’m a workaholic in the making.
Now it seems like this post will be an "I" "me" entry.

Anyway, I was itching since last night to post something about a person that I’m developing hate on. And it just became apparent yesterday. And, as usual, I’ve done some reflection on why do I feel that way. The reasons I found were, in descending order: I seem to not like the person’s boldness (he’s bolder than I am, well, that is, in some situations) especially when the person did something to someone (that I have a crush on) that could’ve been done with more discretion; The person said aloud something that I mentioned first during the first days of training (you know that "Hey! I said that first and it seems to me you’re claiming it as your own!" feeling).

(Oh… now I can see that I actually have two prominent reasons… which may not even be reasonable in the first place.)

Then I realized that we are different people. We see things, react to situations, and think differently. But the similarity I see is that we’re both 20 and, I assume, we both think that we’re advance for our age. And yet that similarity is not enough for us to jive as much as anybody may want to. But then again... que sera sera.
I don’t want to develop hatred towards another person when I’ve just been encountering that person for two weeks and when no harm was being done to me or to a person I care for. Because if I hate that person, what kind of a person I’ll be? I’ll feel less the person that I am.

Where will you find a woman that is brilliant, funny, and looks a lot like, if not better than, Asia Agcaoili?

Where else but in Sykes Asia! Her nickname’s Shy and she’s one of our two wonderful trainers, together with Ma’am Gigi, for the past two weeks.
(Now it’s almost as if I’m hearing her say this line again.) "And guess what?" According to her, she’s "the torch bearer of NBSB" or No Boyfriend Since Birth. Which was quite unbelievable considering my intro. Then she explained why: she’s not into boys. She prefers men. Good for her and I salute her for that!

I’m 20 and I still don’t consider myself man enough. I mean, how can I when I still am not independent and when I haven’t earned my first payslip, estate, car, etc. I guess it’s a question of earning my keep. But I did have (more than) my share of responsibilities and challenges. I mean, had somebody else been in my place, he would’ve done things less gracefully and ended up less of the man that I am now. (I just called my self a man. Man! That feels great! It makes me feel "privileged.")

Like I said earlier, I am advance for my age, emotionally and intellectually perhaps, but when I see more aged males acting more like juveniles, like openly flirting and most probably had consummation-of-less-noble-desires in mind when they just had their less-than-a-year-old baby, for one, I feel more compelled to prove myself and be more responsible to earn the title of "man." And I don't mean to attack people just in case somebody gets offended. It's just that... well, you know what I mean, I hope.

And don’t give me that "men" line that women say with contempt with their eyes rolling. They’re not men. Physically or whatever maybe they are but when you think about it… that’s the key word: "think." It’s how you think and the way you handle situations that makes you a "man." That’s why, as of the moment, I don’t want to aspire to be a "man" anymore. I’m still a young man and I from now on I’ll try to act my age for a change, that is, being more or less like my peers. Ack. I’m more of a man when I was a kid up to the point when I wrote this paragraph then.

Which is better then: deciding to act you age, i.e. "immature" like your peers, because you know you won’t be twenty-years-young forever and this is literally a once in a lifetime chance or deciding to continue being more "mature" because since you already know better, you do better.

I guess it’s best to be mature enough to do the right things while knowing when to have fun, especially the fun things that are best done when one is still young.

Argh! I want to talk to someone about these things! Well, I already have my brother, who’s only 15 at present, to discuss these topics with. (What have I done!) And I’m more than thankful to him for that. Hay… but I sure hope/wish to discuss these with someone like ^____^ Ma’am Shy.

Anybody who can please tell me who said this:
"Those who were young when they were old must have been old when they were young."


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